


riverdale high said "gay rights"

by ghostmermaid, lesbianbettycooper, The_Doom_Dahlia



Series: ??? jughead ? has ? an ? incest ? kink ??? [3]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Is Gay, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Texting, betty is tired of jugheads bs, cheryl lives with the coopers, groupchat, josie cheryl and kevin are just along for the ride, jughead writes riverdale to channel his anger/upset into something (debatably) productive, valerie wants sleep, veronica is jugheads oc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 18:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16917636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostmermaid/pseuds/ghostmermaid, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianbettycooper/pseuds/lesbianbettycooper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Doom_Dahlia/pseuds/The_Doom_Dahlia
Summary: bettybutimahomophobe: melody is super important!! excuse you!!e.a.poeminustheincest: hm… agree to disagree.blacksakura: shut up jug jhdfgdfhgbettybutimahomophobe: shes more important than your goddamn drag persona jughead!!jojosiwa: uh HELLO??? EXCUsE ME???or; the gang finds out that veronica isnt just the fake gf from new york jug used to say he had when pretending to be straight





	riverdale high said "gay rights"

**Author's Note:**

> we all worked together on this and basically wrote nonsense but also.... our combined wlw power made this the best thing you'll have ever read so wig!!!!

**riverdale high said "gay rights"**

**02.58am**

 

 **killerkevin:** bets it’s like three am, why did you just @ me like fifty fuckin times

 **bettybutimahomophobe** : tell jughead that hes wrong PLEASE

 **cherrychrush:** what do you mean my dear sweet cousin?

 **killerkevin:** …. _betty it’s three am what the fuck are you talking about my dude_

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** tell him that, whether or not his writing is good, he sounds pretentious af!!

 **killerkevin:** oh totally, his writing sounds like you superglued fifty-seven wes anderson movies together and just blended them into a fuckin green smoothie

 **goldenretriever:** jug’s writing isn’t that bad, betty!!!

 **cherrychrush:** thats gay archibald

 **goldenretriever:** it’s not gay to love your best friend!

 **killerkevin:** is this where we insert one of those ‘are you sure about that’ memes

 **jojosiwa** : i hate you guys shut up please its TOO early dsjhfkjdsf

 **killerkevin:** dont blame us, blame little miss sunshine!

 **goldenretriever:** hi josie!

 **bettybutimahomophobe** : listen…… jughead is being purposefully STUpid and im tired of his bs and i need you guys to help me!!

 **killerkevin** : betty i love you you know i do but it’s too early for his heterosexual nonsense

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** heterosexual? Die do not ever ever Dont i. Stop.

 **goldenretriever:** i’m straight, kevin, am i heterosexual nonsense?

 **killerkevin:** no, archie, you’re lovely and we’re happy to have you here as our token straight

 **jojosiwa:** you? straight? pop off hetero king!!

 **goldenretriever:** :DDDDD

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** can you guys like… Stop

 **jojosiwa:** shut up junkrat, your writing is pretentious. can we go to bed now?

 **killerkevin:** betty release us from our prison so we can sleep

 **cherrychrush:** pretentious and Bad

 **goldenretriever:** no!!! not bad!!! leave juggy alone!

 **killerkevin:** ….i’m sorry, _juggy??????_

 **cherrycrush:** _heterosexuality has left the chat_

 **jojosiwa:** oh…… juggy… wow. archie private chat real quick.

 **goldenretriever:** okay!!

 **killerkevin:** im just giving up on sleep now, fuck it

 **bettybutimahomophobe** : kevin!!

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** FINE leave me to deal with this nonsense alone

 **killerkevin** : im??? not going to sleep??? that’s what giving up on sleep means??? this is why you should be asleep???

 **blacksakura:** _owo whats dis????_

 **killerkevin:** i dont know which of the other pussycats this is but….. no

 **blacksakura:** ummm the _other_ pussycats?!?!?!?!? how dARE YOU

 **killerkevin:** _it’s three am don’t come for me like this_

 **cherrycrush:** melody is the weeb obviously

 **killerkevin:** oh, hey mel! now that i know who you are! no! no on the owos!

 **jojosiwa:** also we arent called the pussycats kevin! cant believe jugheads dumbass novel name stuck smdh...

 **killerkevin:** oh i’m sorry! i’ll call you by your proper band name _when you fucking pick one that sticks!_

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** ANYWAYS

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** PlEAse help me pull jugheads head from out of his ass!

 **blacksakura:** speaking of jugs and asses did you guys hear about that guy who shoved a mason jar up his ass

 **cherrychrush:** WHAT GDHSGFDHJDF

**killerkevin: hey….no.**

**jojosiwa:** MELODY

 **jojosiwa:** WHAT DID VAL AND I TELL YOU ABOUT TALKING ABOUT THAT SHIT

 **blacksakura:** … it seemed relevant to the conversation

 **killerkevin:** can we go back to talking about jughead being pretentious before i’m physically unable to get hard ever again

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** nononono lets keep talking about one man one jar. thats fun!

 **goldenretriever** : no!!!!!!!!

 **goldenretriever:** i wish val was here because this is….a lot!!!!

 **killerkevin:** that’s wholesome and i appreciate that so much

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** anyways you guys were talking about how my writing is pretentious

 **killerkevin:** you also like...suck at consistent characters my dude

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** its not my fault that you guys annoy me irl and then i change everything about your novel characterisations

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** i cant control my emotions gays

 **killerkevin:** betty where are you he’s being a shit

 **cherrychrush:** noah fence but you are literally the most annoying person we know and thats coming from ME

 **jojosiwa** : CHERYL SKDJFHSKDJF

 **killerkevin:** dont say that too loud cheryl he might make you into a cultist or some shit

 **blacksakura:** if youre lucky he’ll write you out entirely

 **killerkevin:** oh to be so blessed

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** jughead face it, everyone thinks that youre pretentious in your writing. thats just fact!

 **jojosiwa** : im loving betty completely ignoring the conversation unless its what she wants to talk about tbh

 **killerkevin:** god i wish that were me

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** you all are just being homophique, you all want what i have :)

 **killerkevin:** ….. _a good 95 percent of this chat is either not straight, not cis, or both??????_

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** still!!!!!

 **goldenretriever:** jug? maybe you should start like...journaling! that’d help you feel better! that’s what the special ed person back in elementary school said i should do when i get overwhelmed and stuff

 **blacksakura:** yeah!!! i write songs to vent my feelings instead of poorly written semi-erotic friend fiction :-)

 **killerkevin:** VGYHUIBGVYHUIHUGYJKHBUH I LAUGHED SO HARD DAD WOKE UP SHIT

 **cherrychrush:** MEL I STAN YOU KJDFHGDFGDJGHDHDG

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** GOD

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** mel calm down you dont have to be jealous just bc youre not important enough to have a stable position in my novel

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** melody is super important!! excuse you!!

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** hm… agree to disagree.

 **blacksakura:** shut up jug jhdfgdfhg

 **bettybutimahomophobe** : shes more important than your goddamn drag persona jughead!!

 **jojosiwa** : uh HELLO??? EXCUsE ME???

 **killerkevin:** **_I’M SORRY WHAT????????????_ **

**cherrychrush:** jUGHeAD HAS A _DRAG PERSONA?????_

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** yep! and its veronica!!

 **blacksakura:** **_WHA T_ **

**killerkevin:** **_I’M GOING TO S C R E A M_ **

**e.a.poeminustheincest:** BETTY!! WHAT THE FUCK!!

 **cherrychrush:** LMAOOOODHSDGSH THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER HEARDSSDJFF

 **goldenretriever:** @prettypoodle

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **jojosiwa:** GOD THIS IS TOO GOOD!! 

 **killerkevin:** **_why is your drag persona a latina woman jughead_ **

**jojosiwa** : YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP!!

 **cherrycrush:** his drag persona obviously has to be a woman you uncultured swine

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** fun fact! she actually isnt latina but jug felt he needed more diversity in his book after making archie white!

 **goldenretriever:** @prettypoodle _honeybear please_

 **blacksakura:** another fun fact: jughead screamed out loud when betty exposed him

 **jojosiwa:** how do you know he screamed???

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** theyre having a sleepover lmao. i think mel was going to try and convince him to write her back into his book bc she was feeling left out

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** youareallsomeantome.jpeg

**killerkevin: i think we have all the right in the world to roast you rn**

**prettypoodle:** archiw wgat

 **goldenretriever:** scroll up

 **prettypoodle:** im sleepinf

 **prettypoodle:** lmao jug what the fucj

 **blacksakura:** _hewwo vawewie_

 **prettypoodle:** im too tired for your shit mel

 **jojosiwa:** GOD MEL!! HOW MANY TIMES NO OWO SHIT IN THE BIG CHAT!

 **goldenretriever:** jughead i have a question

 **e.a.poeminustheincest:** _hhhhhhhhhhhHh what??_

 **goldenretriever:** why am i dating your drag person in your book

 **killerkevin:** _yeah that’s a really good question_

 **prettypoodle:** ummm yeah you tryna steal my bf lol

**e.a.poeminustheincest: :))))))))**

 

 **_e.a.poeminustheincest_ ** **has left the chat**

 

 **killerkevin:**  C O  W A R D

 **jojosiwa** : GOD THIS IS SO GOOD I LOVE THIS!!!

 **jojosiwa** : I FEEL LIKE IM IN A TEXTING TELENOVELA

 **jojosiwa** : ALL THESE TWISTS AND TURNS!!

 **cherrycrush:** yeah!!!!

 **cherrycrush:** i am LIVING for this drama

 **cherrycrush:** its what he deserves tho for making me bully betty and call her fat >:(

 **goldenretriever:** i still wanna know why though. :c

 **prettypoodle:** sweetie…..

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** hey! lets talk about the fact that jughead made archie white lol???? thats weird huh??

 **blacksakura:** and u cis and straight???? tf is up with that 

 **jojosiwa** : p sure jugheads just kind of an idiot and a lazy writer

 **cherrycrush:** yes lets go back to roasting jugnuts

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** jug told me once that he made arch white bc he liked the idea of molly ringwald playing his mom

 **goldenretriever:** molly ringwald’s cool but i dont think that’d work

 **killerkevin:** why’d he make betty cis tho

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** think he said something about being worried he would offend me

 **jojosiwa:** jug was worried about offending people?????? wig that does NOT come through lmaoo

 **blacksakura:** hshjdhsfhg right???? i had like THREE LINES and im his friend!!!!!

 **jojosiwa:** oh we back to you being bitter about not being included? valid

 **blacksakura:** yes bitch!!

 **blacksakura:** oh no jughead is listening to taylor swift now

 **blacksakura:** like,, old taylor swift

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** oh no…. love story?

 **blacksakura:** yeah.. :/

 **prettypoodle:** oh damn he going thru it

 **goldenretriever:** i dont???? get it????

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** fearless era taylor swift is jugheads depression music…..

 **goldenretriever:** should i text him??? i dont know what to do and i dont like it

 **cherrycrush:** dont tell me jughead is a horse girl

 **blacksakura:** its ok im here with him

 **goldenretriever:** :c  
  
**goldenretriever:** i think i should go to bed…

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** yeah arch please sleep!! jug will be fine. im sure he’s just embarrassed, i’ll call him. gn <3

 **goldenretriever:** gn everybody! love you val!

 **prettypoodle:** im going to bed too, gn, love you archie! <3

 

**goldenretriever is offline!**

 

**prettypoodle is offline!**

 

 **killerkevin:** im gonna go listen to marina and the diamonds and just like….try and see if i can get sick and not go to school tomorrow

 **cherrychrush:** im going to continue to snuggle with betty lol

 **killerkevin:** that’s adorable

 **blacksakura:** yall are too cute i cant

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** yeah we’re just that powerful you know

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** anyways i gotta call jughead, see u guys tomorrow

 **bettybutimahomophobe:** or like…. in a few hours kjshfkjsd

 **killerkevin:** rip in piss all of us i guess later

 **jojosiwa:** later losers <3333

 **cherrycrush:** goodnight josie!!! <3 <3 <3

 **killerkevin:** gay

 

**Author's Note:**

> bella (heknowssomethings): very very sorry about this but also..... this is the best thing ive ever written sdkjfhdkjsfh 
> 
>  aj aka ghostmermaid here and i am absolutely Not Sorry 
> 
> it's Lila (the_doom_dahlia) and I wanna remind you that the only ethical consumption is eating the rich! also I regret exactly nothing yeet
> 
> comments and kudos greatly appreciated!!


End file.
